Friday, July 5, 2013

Side By Side

Bring on the Friday and bring on the fabulous!! 

It is fabulous Friday once again!  How quickly the week can zoom by!! At least mine did!  Hope yours did too!!

So, today's assignment is all about comparison; flaws and how we perceive them. 

We've made lists before of all the things we like about our bodies. Today were going to think of one or two things we don't like. And then...well, THEN is a bit of a surprise so...

So, I'll go first...

Well, I don't like my stomach. It's big and floppy and un-a-ppealing!! I also don't like my big butt and wide hips. Now I'm going to focus on those flaws for a moment and feel my dislike for them. 

... ... ...

... ... ...

Now...I'm going to think of someone I know and love that has the same body traits that I dislike and think hard about how I feel about them and the way they look. 

... ... ...

... ... ...


Does their size or body traits change the way I feel about them? 

... ... ...

No, it absolutely does not. 

So, what does this lesson teach us?  It shows us that our body obsessions are ridiculous and won't affect the way out friends and family see us and how much they love us. The only people who might "care" are strangers and mere aquaintances. And how much do we care about how THEY see us?

Having said this, of course we all want to be as healthy as we can be, but obsessing about being a certain size is ridiculous. Our bodies will always have flaws. That is the reality. So, before we can be happy and at peace with ourselves we have to be happy and at peace with our bodies. 

Our bodies are ALL beautiful gifts from God and as such we should love them unconditionally and care for them to the best of our abilities. 

K, now I made myself feel really guilty for that cheeseburger I ate earlier!  :P

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

"We're Having a Heat Wave! A Tropical Heat Wave!"

Many parts of North America and Europe are suffering through a heat wave right now. 

I say suffering because I'm not one of those people who LOVE the heat. In fact, I'm one of those people who HATE the heat. I'm one of those people who want to punch those people who LOVE the heat in the nose. Not punch them hard, just...okay, punch them hard. 

I'll let you in on a little secret. I know this will be hard for you to believe.  Being 300 + pounds makes you a lot HOTTER than your average 115 pound; beach body, bikini wearing; gotta-take-a-sweater-cause-the-air-conditioning-is-too-cold; pretty little thing. 

Not that I'm bitter or anything.  

But I recently saw THIS on the Internets: 


And I get it. I get the joke. And even, to a  certain extent, can agree with it. Some people do take the opportunity of a heat wave to wear as little as possible. 

But here's the thing. I think that at 300 pounds, wearing a bikini in a heat wave IS dressing for the body I have. I'm wearing VERY little because I can. I come with my own insulation. My thin sisters should of course pack on the sweaters and coats if they find the air conditioning too cool. But I'm good. This bikini allows for optimum cooling of my overweight, overly hot, body. If I was dressing for the body I want, I would be huddled up in a sweater saying, "Ooh! It's SO chilly in here. Can we shut off the air conditioning?"  

(Btw, the answer to that is ALWAYS no! Put on another sweater!!)

I am; of course, joking. The chances of me EVER being at home enough in my body (no matter what it's size) to wear a bikini, is pretty much zero to nil. 

And I realize that some people have internal thermometers that have very little to do with their size and no two people will EVER agree with on what the correct temperature of a room should be.  

But maybe, when you see a fat woman showing off her back fat in a tank top that is too small for her, cut her some slack. She's slowly melting away into nothingness and is SO hot she feels like she's going to puke at any moment.  

Or she just thinks she's rockin' that look. In which case...well, still give her a break. Why the heck do you care what she's wearing? 

Don't like it? Don't look. :)

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Calling All Men!

Just a quick blog post today to go along with my video blog post that I'll be posting later. I've been behind the last couple of days since we've had a long weekend here in Canada. But I'll catch up now. 

This blog is a bit of an apology to any men out there who are reading my blog. 

My Dad pointed out something the other day that I hadn't noticed; or at least hadn't noticed was a problem. He mentioned that my writing tends to skew toward the feminine. Of course, being a woman , I'm a lot more in tune with the pressures that women face when it comes to body image. 

But our chunky brothers regularly feel the pain that comes from this crap too.  Apparently. 

I had always thought that, while young boys certainly felt the sting of playground bullies' cruel words, by the time guys got to be grown up, weight wasn't a very big factor in how they saw themselves. 

I believed that a successful woman, no matter how successful, still has her looks and figure scrutinized continuously. But I thought that when a guy reaches a certain level of success, he's pretty much left alone. 

But I have a feeling I may be wrong in that. I think there may be quite a few men out there suffering from this ridiculous societal pressure to look a certain way.

Of course for men the emphasis isn't on being as slim as possible, but on having all those big muscles and rippling six pack abs. Maybe because my personal tastes have always leaned toward the cuddly, chubby guys, I think I overlooked the pressures that men face in this beauty-obsessed culture of ours. 

So, I was hoping for some input from my readers. If you are a man (or you're a woman who knows of a man) who has faced body image issues and who feels they've been ridiculed and made fun of for their weight, please leave a comment letting me know your story. I would love to hear it, and would really like the chance to broaden my mind. 

Sunday, June 30, 2013

My apologies...

I've been remiss this weekend and have not done a blog. It's the long weekend here. (Happy Canada Day!!) and we've had some rearranging going on in our house that has kept me away the last couple of days.
But I'm going to do a video blog tomorrow (Monday, July 1.)  So, I'll "see" you all tomorrow!! 
I hope everyone is having a great weekend. And an early "Happy 4th of July!" to my American readers. :)

Friday, June 28, 2013

Watch Out Da Vinci!!

So it is the start of summer, it is the start of school holidays, it's the start of the long weekend AND - IT'S FABULOUS FRIDAYS!!! 

Today's assignment is not long, or hard, or incredibly deep and introspective. After all, like I said, this weekend is all about relaxation and fun. Lets start off that way. Today's assignment should still make you think about how you see yourself. But, in a sort of fun way.

We're going to draw a picture.

I got the idea yesterday while I was playing with my daughter.  She asked me to draw a picture for her, since she always draws such lovely ones for me.  

So, I decided I would.  I can't draw.  Stickmen are my forte.  But I decided since she really wanted me to, I would try.  So I began drawing a picture of the two of us.  I drew her, with her gorgeous curls and brown eyes, and her long, tall body.  Then I started to draw me, and realized that the "person" I was drawing didn't look ANYTHING like me.  I mean, I am FAR from an artist, but this was ridiculous.  Other than having long brown hair, my person looked nothing like me.

It was the body.  I was drawing my standard "woman's body" that I've been drawing since I was about 9 years old.  (Which is as far as my artistic ability ever progressed.)  The problem was, my real body doesn't actually resemble the "standard woman's body".  So, I erased my pictorial body and started again.  

(Wouldn't it be great if it worked like that in real life?  "Oops!  I screwed up this body...ERASE...I'll just try again!")

Anyway, when I was done with my picture I had a drawing that, while hardly likely to win any art awards, was a much more accurate representation of me.  It's still not exact.  But it's closer.  I realized that it was important to me to show my daughter that I know what my body looks like, and I'm proud of it.  Proud enough to showcase it in crayon.  

So, that's my assignment for us this week. (I already went first!)  Draw a picture of yourself.  Don't come at it from a hateful place, but come at it from a realistic place.  Have a "pear shaped" body?  Draw it!  Got thick thighs? Draw it!  I think you'll be surprised to notice that the picture you draw of yourself is actually more lovely than what you expected.  That's what happened with mine. 

Wanna see it?  You gotta promise not to laugh.

Promise?

Okay...



Hey!!!  You promised!  

Happy Fabulous Friday!!!




Wednesday, June 26, 2013

The History of Fat Part 2 - This is Not a Repeat - 20th Century Body Image

This post is a continuation of my study of the ideal in beauty through the ages.  

In this post I will be focusing on the 20th century and some of the major changes that occurred in society's ideal for women's bodies.

The first two decades of the 20th century saw much of the same for women.  Very tight corsets were still being used to try and achieve that perfect Gibson Girl, hourglass figure.  And bustles were still being used to achieve the perfect "S" shaped figure.



Toward the end of World War I; however, something began to change.  Women had needed, during the war, to take over a lot of the roles that men had traditionally dominated.  In other words they began to work outside the home.  They worked hard for the war effort and covering for the jobs that had been vacated by the men who were off fighting.  At the same time, they continued to work equally hard to care for their home and family.  

During all of this, most women began to see that the way they were dressing (restrictive corsets and body-shapers) was completely impractical.  During the war when times were lean and a lot had to be sacrificed, vanity and body obsession were given the heave.  The women buckled down and did what they had to do to get themselves and their families through.

When the war ended, the women were NOT ready to go back to the incredibly binding clothing that shaped them into an ideal.  Instead...

The Flapper was born.





As is usually the case, it was the young women who REALLY grabbed on to this new body image and beauty shift.  Suddenly young women everywhere were "bobbing" their hair and wearing clothing that didn't require a bustle or extra padding.  In fact it was just the opposite.    

For decades women had been padding and squeezing their bodies into a curvaceous shape.   But the Flapper look was SO streamlined and straight that very few women could achieve the look on their own.  So they began pulling everything into a straight line with the help of girdles and "straight corsets" that flattened those pesky bumps and curves.



Throughout the 30's the ideal shape stayed much the same.  Women began regularly wearing trousers in the 1930's which continued the desire for the more boyish straight and narrow body shape. 


But toward the end of the decade a bit more curve had again entered the body ideal; especially when compared with the Flapper "straight and flat" ideal.  


Also during the 30's the bra, as we know it today, came into wide-spread use, again helping to add a few more curves into the stream-lined silhouette.   


 By the time World War II broke out women were regularly working outside the home (at least until they got married) and going to college (at least until they got married).

This time around when war came women had less of a transition from the home to the workplace/munitions factory.  Women got into the war effort with gusto and took over for the many jobs left vacant.  They also enlisted in the army and worked as army nurses, fighting and dying alongside their male comrades.  

This new role for women created a strange new dichotomy for the cultural beauty ideal.  On one hand you had the ideal woman being portrayed as tough and resourceful, with a traditionally masculine look; (short hair, military bearing) a woman who gave little thought to beauty.


While on the other hand you had this very curvaceous, extremely (stereo-typically) feminine, flirty girl being portrayed in all the pin-ups, of which the soldiers were so fond!



The body ideal then during this time tended to run much more toward the curvaceous than in the past two decades, while at the same time, a woman was expected to be fairly athletic and able to work hard.

By the end of the war everyone was anxious to go back to "normal" and pretend that the atrocities of WWII had never happened.  This resulted in women being overwhelming forced back into the home and and a return of the very feminine look of the hourglass figure.  



And here; of course, the epitome of 1950's sexiness and beauty, Marilyn Monroe.  Marilyn herself is an interesting study in changing body image to fit what you think others are looking for.  Because here is what she looked like "before" she became Marilyn; when she was just plain, "Norma Jean Baker".


She was just this regular, pretty little brunette.  But then she completely changed her body and looks and became this mega superstar/legendary sex symbol.  But...did she ever really change her body image; the way she saw HERSELF?  Or was she forever that slightly ordinary, poor and disadvantaged, country girl?

But I digres...

The 1950s were very interested in the "traditional" way of doing things.  And part of that tradition was for women to return to their traditional roles; wife, mother, angel of the house.  


And their body image and self image was STRONGLY tied to this idea.  Therefore women of the day did their very best to always look their best for their husbands.  Fresh, colorful and always smiling.  Advice columns of the day advised women not to bother their husbands with their own trivial concerns.  Instead they were to (I kid you not!) get him his slippers and a nice stiff drink and shoo the kids away from him so he would have time to rest when he came home. 

This was REAL advice from a "Good Housekeeping" article.  Can you imagine what THAT kind of thinking would do for your self worth AND body image.  "Who gives a crap about you and all of the things you may have been dealing with in your day.  Your husband is SO much more important than you."  Oi!  Is it any wonder women started burning their bras?!!

But I Digress Once More...

Suffice it to say that the revolution of the 60s was understandable and probably should have been expected.  The 1960s saw a massive change in the body image ideal.  Women went from fighting to be busty yet slender to needing to look like this...


in order to fit into these...


...ultra "mod"; ultra short; ultra slim-line dresses.  And the pants weren't much better.


Suddenly, ultra-skinny meant ultra-chic.  The idea of "fat cats" being people who stuffed themselves and gorged themselves while other people starved became a pretty popular one and the extreme hatred for people who were overweight began in society in earnest.  

This look and sentiment continued into the 1970s.  Ironically, as the population increased in weight, from a combination of readily available fast food restaurants and a rapidly increasing pace of life, societal pressure continued to push women (and men!) to remain thin.  After all, bell bottoms did not suit chubby people!  


See, not a chubby person among them.  (And I think we can all agree that the plaid doesn't suit ANYONE!)

As the 1980s came in, the focus shifted from being ultra skinny to being "ultra-fit"!  Which sounds like a MUCH better alternative. But it really wasn't.  Because the 80s idea of fitness was a lot of aerobics with Jane Fonda and taking ephedrine pills to "help your metabolism".  



It was during this decade that women really started being encouraged to get those six pack abs and to make their butt as flat as possible.  If there was some way of to actually make your butt concave, that was the best possible solution.

One would think, that this would be as far away from the ideal as we fat people could get.  But the 90s moved us a step further away.  Because the 90s brought us...





...heroin chic.  Yep.  That was an actual thing; an actual "desired look".  Women (AND MEN) were encouraged to be as rail thin as possible, the idea being that they would be SO thin, it would look as though they were on heroin.  One of the most famous Supermodels at the time, Kate Moss (featured in the pictures above) was one of the biggest "role models" for young girls looking to be beautiful.  

It was a dark period for sanity in the world of "beauty".

Eventually, the desire for models (and the regular people trying to emulate them) to be as sickly looking as possible, faded away.  I think we have JLo and Beyonce to thank for a healthy booty and thick thighs returning to the "beautiful body" spectrum of possibilities.  

In spite of the griping I do here on this blog, I really do think that we're living in one of the most accepting times in history. Do we have a long way to go until all body types are seen as beautiful and valid and "acceptable"?  Oh yeah!

But overall, when you look at the women in today's culture who represent "beautiful" you see a pretty (if you'll pardon the pun) broad spectrum of body types; from the afore mentioned Beyonce to the beautifully slender Gwenyth Paltrow.  Melissa McCarthy continues to show us that the big women can be really beautiful too.

Maybe it's just the optimist in me, but I'm holding out hope for the day that even these body types can be seen as beautiful once again.

Monday, June 24, 2013

History of Fat: Part 1 - Is This a Repeat?

No.  This is not a repeat.  

For those of you who have read my blog from the beginning you know that I already have two posts titled:

History of Fat: Part 1

and

History of Fat: Part 2

These posts talk about my own history battling with my weight.  

I would now like to discuss the global History of Fat or, more accurately, the history of body image and the ideal of beauty throughout the ages.  I was just too lazy to think up another title.

Warning:  There will be a bit of nudity ahead.  

Let's start way back in the Egyptian empire...

I think most of us base our idea of Egyptian beauty on this:


Or maybe this:


But Good Lord - Hopefully not THIS!:


Wow!

In reality this was what the Egyptians considered beautiful and the ideal body:





These statues of Cleopatra and Nefertiti give some idea of the ideal body shape in Ancient Egypt.  The women's bodies seem to be quite natural looking, with gently flaring hips, and thighs that touch.  

You'll notice too, that while they don't have a large stomach, they also don't have a "six pack" flat stomach.  That is a very modern invention for women.  It isn't until well into the latter half of the 20th century that women are depicted without the slightly rounded lower abdomen.

Next lets visit Ancient Greece.  The Ancient Greeks were all about strength and athleticism, even for women.  



So here we see a Greek fresco depicting women exercising.  We can see that their bodies are lean, but not what we would term "skinny".  Their thighs seem strong and seem to have some flesh on them; and again you can see the slight rounding of their lower abdomen.  

If we move up to the Roman Empire we see that the standard for beauty stayed much the same; a healthy, natural looking body.  




Having said that, it doesn't mean; of course, that every woman achieved this "natural" look easily or often.  After all the Roman women had all those incredibly delicious Italian foods to contend with!

They also had some truly TERRIBLE hair to contend with:


Yep - THAT'S a woman, and that is her CHOSEN hairstyle!


If we look to medieval times it's fairly tough to get an acurate representation of what the beauty ideal was because...well because they painted like this:


There did appear to be a kind of cultural interest and desire for women to have a kind of pot belly, as can be seen in the painting below.  This was likely because it made the woman look pregnant and thus - fertile. The fashions of the time also tended to thrust the woman's pelvis forward, again likely to do with the cultural predilection for finding fertility very desirable.   


The Renaissance gives us a much larger pool to draw from when trying to understand their idea of body beauty.  One of the most famous images for Renaissance beauty is this:



Botticelli's "Birth of Venus" shows us the "birth" of the ancient Roman Goddess of Love and Beauty.  Thus the Renaissance artist put down on the canvas, the cultural ideal of what she would look like.  She's pretty fleshy.  But she also has some lovely upper abdominal muscles and her arms look a bit muscular as well.  



The penchant for fleshy curves, but muscular arms can be seen in these Da Vinci and Raphael paintings as well.


In this Raphael painting we see evidence of the rounded, sloping, feminine shoulder often portrayed in Renaissance portraits.  Perhaps this was to contrast with the idealized, "broad shouldered man"?

Moving into the Elizabethan era, the most important part of body image seemed to be that the natural body was to be hidden completely.  Fashion and clothing was used to COMPLETELY change the body shape.  Women were meant to have long necks and very wide foreheads and did everything they could to achieve a TINY waist and completely flat stomach.


As we can see from these two portraits of Queen Elizabeth I, society had abandoned all attempts to look "natural" and had begun to use all manner devices and contraptions like corsets and farthingales (an early predecessor to the crinoline and bustle) to create the body image they wanted.

It wasn't until the early nineteenth century that people finally began to desire a more natural silhouette once again.  At the beginning of the 1800's, in a kind of rebellion against the excesses and "false" beauty of royalty like Marie Antoinette...


...people moved completely away from body shaping devices and began to espouse a kind of bastardized Greek and Roman ideal.  Women were encouraged not to wear anything under their gowns besides a couple of simple undergarments.  The natural body was once again the ideal.  That lasted for a couple of years...





...but eventually women who couldn't achieve that "natural" look um, naturally, began to slip corsets back into the mix.  Slowly all the previous excess associated with being beautiful returned and by the 1830's women were back to looking like this:


The exaggerated sleeves are meant to create an illusion to help make the tiny pinched in waist appear even tinier; which was one of the biggest bodily desires over the rest of the 19th century.  Women pulled their corset laces so tight they would faint.  This was seen simply as womanly fragility.  Some women went as far as to have their bottom rib removed to achieve the ultimate "wasp waist".  





19th century women went from resembling nothing so much as a bell...


...to needing to resemble the prow of a ship.


The Victorians would NEVER dream of talking about it, but it can be gathered, from the somewhat naughtier pictures of the time, and from pictures of the 19th century sex symbol, Lillian Russell...



  
...that women of the time were meant to be fairly fleshy.  Gone are the renaissance interest in abdominal or bicep muscles.  Thicker thighs and arms, with the obligatory curved waist and hip along with medium sized breasts seem to be the beauty norm of the time.

This ideal carried forward into the first two decades of the nineteenth century but changed radically in the 1920's.

We will  take a look at this change in tomorrow's post:  

History of Fat: Part 2 - Not a Repeat! - 20th Century Beauty Concepts.

That's a pretty long title.  Maybe I'll work on that.